MIA - sorry

Hi there

Have been a little MIA of late and need to get back into it. I have not fallen off the wagon just havent been doing at 100% but will get back into it again very soon.

Hugs

Kim

on track with a little detour or two 93.9kg

OK so I am tracking my food intake and have started my relationship with the treadmill again. This morning I weighed in at 93.9kg - I havent been below 94.8kg in a good 6 months so I am definately going to keep this up.

Hope your all well

Kim

OK so it happened.......................

I have officially had the breakdown I felt was coming.

In a nutshell, everything is too much for me at the moment and I seriously considered heading off into the cold night and never coming back - ever..

Erynn has been stomping all over my VERY LAST NERVE. BJ has been around a lot more this year which is awesome but she is still relying way too much on me and I am done with it. After a lovely dose of stomach cramps (thanks mother nature) on Thursday night, I was curled up in a warm bed asleep by 7pm. 15 mins later BJ was putting Erynn to bed and it went to shit from there. She kept yelling out for me and screaming at BJ she didnt want him and only wanted her mum. I had HAD ENOUGH after 20 minutes. I stormed out of our room (putting a hole in the wall with the door handle - WOOPSY), yelled at Erynn to get into bed then started in on BJ. After I had my say, I grabbed my car keys and took off. If I had taken my handbag with me, I would never have come back.

MY JOB - I have an awesome job with a government department and I love it but as I am only on contract, it has to be advertised and I need to apply for it like every other person. This stresses me out. Not only am I good at what I do, but these guys really like me and the way I do the job. I HATE replying to selection criteria - it seriously does my head in. Then there is the answering the calls of those enquiring about the job that I answer as my supervisor is the person looking after the queries - it was really hard not to say the job is taken, BUGGER OFF. So now I need to wait around and see if I at least get an interview. I hate this process.

MY WEIGHT - yep we are going to beat this dead donkey AGAIN. I am fat and overweight by about 20kg. Its a vicous cycle I am stuck in as I am an emotional eater. No specific emotion - ALL OF THEM.

Me 6 months ago about 5kg lighter than I am now.

I have a treadmill and crosstrainer, zumba dvd's and a husband willing to train me but I dont seem to be able to get my shit together.

I spent 2 hours last night going through my weight watchers stuff and am officially on the wagon again this morning. This afternoon, I need to nut up and use the equipment I have downstairsto get this body of mine into shape. Only I can fix this and it is not going to come off a quick as I want so I need to put my head down and huge arse up and JUST DO IT.

I have made a big decision - I am back on the happy pills again for a while. I am drowning and feel that I need some help to get on an even keel again.

I need to go and get some stuff done.

Onward

Kim aka FATTY BOOMBA

Time to get serious................ (95.2)

OK thats enough. This past weekend I actually did the exercise of putting al lthe clothes that dont fit me up on the top shelf in my walk in robe. These are mainly work clothes and nice clothes. I am ashamed to say that about 2/3 of my clothing now lives on the top shelf because I cant fit into them. I am talking about not being able to do up the zipper or the girls wont allow the buttons to be done up on gorgeous work suits. This is really confronting but a great visual way of proving to myself that the weight HAS TO GO.

I will be taking photo's of how bad it all looks tonight................

Is having herself a shit fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK so the NO CHOCOLATE challenge lasted 4 days - not the 30 and I wanted. Its a wee bit stressful at work and home at the moment so I think 4 days is a great start.

I am going to include some photos of our new house and little cherub in this post as well as my fast self so get ready for PLENTY of photos.

A couple of fat photos first

This one is from Christmas Day last year

Yep thats little ole me and my fat rolls!!!!

Anyway, onto some better photos - my little cherub aka Princess Crankypants

Anzac Day 2010

And photos of our New House

Front view Kitchen

Main bedroom Office

I will add some more photos of the house tommorow - I think blogger is about to have a heart attack!!!!

3 days of NO CHOCOLATE (95kg)

Ok so today is day 4 with no chocolate and I am going JUST FINE!!!! Those around me have survived too - JUST!!!

We had a workshop for our branch yesterday and I didnt eat anything which involved chocolate although the guys I work with thought it funny to ENCOURAGE me too.

The best thing is that the scales are finally showing a positive in regards to this NO CHOCOLATE kick that I am on.

Still no chocolate and surviving......

Day one down (95.5kg)

OK so I stuck to my no chocolate challenge yesterday - trust me, Erynn almost didnt make it through!!!!

Meh (95.9kg)

OK so I am really good with PLANNING to loose weight but the execution is a whole other story. Am pleased with self for doing 3 PT sessions this past week, but I know that I could have done at least another 2.

My biggest downfall is my diet - the amount of chocolate that I eat on a daily basis is enough to keep a small country in the black!!! So from today my chocolate intake needs to be nil. Yep I am going to do a 30 day NO CHOCOLATE CHALLENGE. This is going to be really hard as BJ has just made a batch of his home made choccie truffles but its the only way to ensure that I take this seriously. Also, I am a total carbs girl. Yep I love my potato's, pasta and rice and its time to minimise these as well. I want to loose the weight and need to start making the right decisions to get myself there.

Be back later today

A little of track ................ (94.8kg)

OK so the last couple of days have been a bit rough due to work but all is good and I am getting back into the swing of things.

The scales were kind this morning so I will not be cranky with them. Just need to stay down under the 95kg and keep working towards 90kg.

Still on track but the number on the scale SUX

OK so maybe I shouldnt be getting on the scales EVERY morning but its the only way to keep myself on track. This morning, instead of saying GET OF FATSO, it told me I was 95.5kg. I am hoping that this is because my muscle tone is starting to kick in. I refuse to believe that it can be anything else as I have been fairly good the past few days. I even did another boxing session with BJ last night and really put some oomph into the punches - even BJ commented about it.

OK time to get the day started..............................

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM will update at home later tonight. Need to get a few things of my F cup sized chest - bahahahahahahah!